My Own Personal Saint Part 2
by gurl3677
Summary: Will they find Jillian? When they do, will she be the same?
1. Chapter 1

_* Please Review even though this story is finished. I am redoing it, fixing the problems with it. Please read My Own Personal Saint to understand what is happening.*_

Eunice Bloom, Duffy, Greenly, Dolly, and Paul Smecker sat in the MacManus house, talking with the brothers and Jared. Layla and Lillian were both curled up into their dad on the couch. They had stopped crying out loud but the tears hadn't stopped. His arms were curled around his daughters. They won't leave his side and when anyone tried to help them, they'd start sobbing all over again. The cops were taking down description of the men and the car they took. Eunice came forward and sat down next to Lillian.

" Would it be okay if I went and got the girls some ice cream?" She asked Jared softly as the other men talked. Jared kissed Layla's head and then Lillian's.

" If you bring me some coffee." He said with a small smile. She smiled.

" I think I can do that." She said. He nodded.

" Thanks." Jared said. Layla sat up and looked at Eunice then.

" Can you bring me my Aunt Jilly?" She asked. Eunice's eyes soften as looked at the little girl.

" I'm going do everything I can, Sweetie." She said. Layla nodded then laid her head back down on Jared's shoulder.

" Look, it may not be my place but I have a friend who deals with helping children who have been through a traumatic experience. I could give you her number, if you want." Eunice said. Jared sighed and squeezed his girls.

" You know, I think I'd like that." He said. Eunice smiled.

" Let me get that ice cream and coffee then I will write that down for you." She said.

After everyone had left, Murphy sat outside on the back stairs and took out his smoke. He lit it up and took a long drag. Connor opened the door and came out of the kitchen. He closed the door and sat down next to his brother who handed him a smoke. Connor lit it up and took a drag. Neither brother spoke as they smoked for a few minutes.

" Think Lillian and Layla are going to be okay?" Connor asked.

" Aye. Jared's going to call Eunice's friend on Monday." Murphy said. Connor sighed and put his arm around his brother's shoulders.

" Think you are going to be okay?" He asked. Murphy sighed.

" I will when we find her. I feel like we let her and Jared down." He said.

" Wasn't anything we could do. They would have killed the girls." Connor said. Murphy nodded as he took another hit of his smoke.

" I really like her." He said. Connor nodded.

" Aye, I can tell that." He said as he squeezed his brother's shoulders before he let him go. They smoked again for a few minutes before Murphy spoke again.

" I'm going to kill that mother fucker if he touches her." He said. Connor nodded again.

" Aye." He said.

XXXXXX

Jared laid in his bed, his hands behind his head. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling. He hadn't known where Jillian had been living before she showed up at his house. He knew she had stayed in Ohio but that was all. She had been very vague about where she was living but then he had never asked her about the town. He heard a noise and looked towards his door as it was pushed open. Layla was standing in the doorway in her tiny Tinkerbell nightgown. Jared sat up and smiled. He pulled up his blanket and motioned with his head.

" Come on, Honey." He said softly. Layla stuck her thumb in her mouth and quickly walked over to his bed. She only sucked her thumb when she was upset. She climbed into his bed and crawled over to him. Jared wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

" Why did those men take Aunt Jilly?" She asked. Jared rested his head on the top hers.

" I don't know. Some people are just not nice." He said.

" Will they bring her back?" She said as she closed her eyes. Jared sighed and started playing with her hair. It had always made her relax.

" Yeah, Honey. We will get her back." Jared said.

" I liked that lady who brought us ice cream. She was pretty." Layla said. Jared laughed softly.

" You liked her because she brought you ice cream." He said.

" Daddy?" Lillian's voice was tiny. He looked up at the door frame and smiled.

" Come on, Lilly." He said. She almost ran to his bed and climbed in on the other side of him. Jared turned onto his back and put his arm around Lillian as she settled in beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her little arm going around his waist. " I thought you were sleeping." Jared said before he kissed her head.

" I had a bad dream." She whispered.

" On Monday we are going to talk to someone Agent Bloom knows, someone who will help us deal with what happen, okay?" Jared asked.

" We will see Aunt Jilly again?" She asked. Layla turned around so she was facing Lillian and Jared.

" Connor and Murphy promised they'd find her." She said. Jared squeezed his girls to him before he kissed each of their heads.

" Aunt Jilly loves you, you know that, right girls?" He asked. Both girls nodded then they fell into silence again.

It had been awhile since the girls slept in the bed with him. After Lana died, the girls had slept in the bed with him for almost four months. He hadn't minded, he hadn't wanted to sleep in the bed alone. Him and Lana had been together for since high school so when she passed, he hadn't been ready to be alone. He needed his girls with him as much as they needed to be with him. Now, he knew the girls were too scared to be alone and that pissed him off. He wanted to find the men who took his sister and scared his girls and beat their ass himself. He squeezed his girls and kissed them again as he felt them both relax. He knew they'd be in bed with him for a while again.


	2. Chapter 2

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

Two months later:

Jared was leaning against the counter in the kitchen with Connor, Murphy and Eunice leaning across from him. They were all drinking coffee while the girls were eating their breakfast. They hadn't heard anything about Jillian or the men. Nothing had turned up, no sights of any of them. The girls had went back to their rooms a month after she was gone. They had been talking to Eunice's friend and were feeling better. Eunice had started spending more time with Jared. She had been collecting different picture of Jillian to make fliers up. They had sent them out to all the different police stations in Ohio so it was taking a lot of time.

" So nothing yet?" Jared asked Eunice. She shook her head.

" Nothing yet, I'm sorry." She said. Jared sighed and nodded.

" Don't they say the longer time a person is missing then less likely you will find them alive?" Jared asked. Murphy frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest. He looked away from the group. Connor noticed the tension in his brother.

" Sometimes that's the case but we don't feel that's the case with Jillian. Antonio is most likely to keeping her alive. He went through all the trouble to find her, he's not just going to kill her." Eunice said.

Six Months after Jillian was taken:

Murphy was staring into his beer at the bar. Connor and Doc were leaning against the bar at the other end. He had moved into the room Jillian had taken at their house and kept a framed picture of her by the bed. He also carried around a picture of her in his pocket. He was angrier when they dealt with their targets, he always questioned them about Jillian and Antonio before they killed them, even though he figured they knew nothing about her. He'd show them her picture, demanding information before Connor could stop him.

A few girls had tried to talk to him at the bar but he always turned them down. Sometimes he'd ignore them completely and sometimes he'd snap at them until Connor pulled him away. He hadn't let go of the idea that they would find her. He had plans for when they did, he was going to make the men pay for what they did, for taking her from him. He wasn't giving up on her or having a relationship with her.

One year after Jillian was taken:

Eunice pulled quickly into Jared's driveway in the morning. She knew she'd find all three of her boys in his kitchen, drinking coffee. She came out of her car and ran the best she could in her heels to his door and inside. As always, the girls were eating cereal at the table. Both girls said an excited hello to her. She smiled and kissed the tops of their heads before she went into the kitchen. All three men had their arms crossed over their chest and a coffee cup in a hand.

" We got a hit on our girl!" She said. Jared's and Murphy's arms dropped, almost spilling their coffee. " A young woman matching Jillian's description was brought into a hospital in a city in Ohio. She has been involved with some bust by the local police and that's all I know! We brought you three and Paul tickets on a plane that leaves this afternoon. We got you a rental car and hotel rooms so get your shit ready boys, you're are going to get our girl!"

" Are you serious? What am I going to do with the girls?" Jared asked as Connor and Murphy set down their cups. They were going to their house to pack their bags. They patted Eunice's shoulder as they walked past her.

" Don't you worry about your girls. I'm moving in to stay with them until you get back. We contacted the school already and told them you had to leave on the case for that FBI so everything is handled. Your girls and I are going to have a wonderful time." She said.

Jared set his cup down and walked over to her. He ran his hand through his short dark hair. Her heels made her tall but she was nothing to him. Jared was 6.4 so he looked down at her with a grin. He grabbed her by her neck and kissed her hard. They had been flirting together for a year but neither one had made a move. She had become a permanent member of the morning coffee club at his house and his girls adored her.

" When I bring my sister back, I'm taking you out a real date." He said against her mouth. She smiled as her hands came to his chest.

" I look forward to it." She said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once they landed in Ohio the boys they were greeted by the local police department who led them to the hospital. The FBI had contacted the hospital and gave the doctor brief information about Jillian and Jared so they would give him information about her. Jared was still going to have to ID her because she was not conscience.

The boys met the doctor in charge of Jillian in the lobby of the hospital. They followed him to the fifth floor where the ICU was located. Murphy's shoulders were tense as they walked down the hall behind the doctor. He stopped at a room that was guarded by two cops. Paul showed them his badge and they were let into the room. Jared's stomach dropped to the floor.

Jillian was laying on her in back with a sheet pulled up to her chest. Her face was pale and thin. She had tube in her mouth and a few IVs in both arms. There was a heart monitor on her chest as it rose and flew rhythmically. She had a another monitor attached her finger. The skin under her eyes looked bruised.

" That is my sister." Jared said softly.

" What the hell happen to her?" Murphy asked. He felt sick to his stomach. Connor put his arm around his shoulders.

" We believe she is suffering from a drug overdose or some poison but we won't know until we get the blood test back." Doctor Nicholas said. " She went into cardiac arrest twice and if we turned the vent off, she won't breath on her own. Her still have brain activity so we know right now that she is alive, but her body just can't function on it's own right now."

" Can I touch her?" Jared asked.

" Sure. She's in a coma right now but we believe she will still be able to hear people talking to her." Doctor Nicholas said.

Jared slowly walked into the room and to the side of her bed. He sat down in the chair by her and placed his hand on hers. Her skin was cold against his. He leaned forward and swept his hand over her head, pushing the hair from her face. He took a hold of her hand and started rubbing her arm. Connor, Murphy and Paul came into the hospital room as the doctor excused himself.

" I'm sorry, boys." Paul said. " I wish we found her in better shape."

" We found her, she's alive, that's all we asked for." Connor said as he patted Paul's back. Murphy came around to her other side. He sighed as he ran his fingers over her hand.

" Touch her, Murphy. Hold her hand, please." Jared said. " She needs to feel all of us now." Murphy turned and pull a chair up to her side and sat down. He took her hand without looking away from her face.

All four men stayed in her room, listening to her heart monitor and the ventilator. None of them were talking. Connor had come forward and rubbed her leg through the blanket. Paul stepped out of the room and called Eunice then the police department. He received the whole report and returned back to her hospital room to give it to the boys.

" Well, she was found in a house during a police raid." Paul said as he stood at the end of her bed. " Antonto's men were killed in the shoot out but Antonio was arrested. Jillian was found in a bed room, just like this. The police called 911 and she was brought here."

" Antonio is in jail?" Connor asked.

" Yeah." Paul said as they looked at each other.

" I want to kill him." Murphy finally spoke up.

" Let me see what I can do." Paul said.


	3. Chapter 3

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

The doctor told them Jillian had a lethal dose of arsenic poison. They didn't feel she had done it herself because they said there was a stock pile of the poison in her system, making the doctors think she had been poisoned over time and finally got her a massive dose the day she found. They continued to pump her with medicine to clear her system and keep her alive. Tests and scans were done proving that her brain was still functioning. The doctors told them it was miracle she was still alive and that they couldn't say what type of shape she was going to be in if she even came out of the coma.

" Well, we are going to try backing her off the ventilator, we are going to see if she will start breathing on her own. If her vitals start to fall when we will turn the vent back up. We might find that she starts to come around with less meds in her system." The doctor said after she had been in the coma for a week. The boys stepped out of the room while the doctor checked her over.

" So, for a small price and some pulling in of favors people owned me, I was able to fake a transfer for Antonio." Paul said softly to the three boys. " I am having Antonio picked up and he will be arriving at a warehouse I have rented for a month. Connor and Murphy can do what they want with him, then I will make his body disappear."

" When?" Murphy asked quickly.

" As soon as you want him." Paul said.

" I'd like to go but I don't think I can leave her." Jared said. Connor grinned and patted his shoulder.

" Don't worry about that. I think Murph and I can deliver a message to him for you." He said.

" Make him pay. Make him pay for what he has done to my family this past year. Make him pay for scaring the hell out of my girls and poisoning my sister and doing God knows what else to her." Jared snapped.

" If we do it at night, you can come." Paul said. " Visiting hours are over at 8, we come meet up at say ten?" Jared smiled for the first time since Jillian was taken. " I think I will transfer him now and make him sweat it out for a few hours."

" Call us with the address and we will be there at ten." Murphy said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Murphy returned to her left side while Jared moved to her other side, both taking a hold of her hands. Paul had left to make the transfer while Connor was looking out the window, listening to the machine breath for her. Jared talked to her about the girls and what they had been doing. The doctors had asked them to talk to her, remind her who they were and what she had to live for but Murphy couldn't bring himself to talk. Connor never had a problem though. He'd tell her stories of stupid things him and Murphy had done growing up.

At the end of the visiting hours, Jared stood up and kissed her forehead. He whispered to her that Antonio was going to pay for what he did to her. Murphy took a deep breath and stood up next. He lean down and kissed her temple then whispered to her so no one else could hear what he said. He asked her to come back to him. He told her he had been waiting for her and wasn't going anyway now that he had found her again.

Once the three of them walked over to their rental car, Connor stopped Jared. He told him Murphy and him had brought Jared a gift. Connor opened the truck and pulled out a pea coat and a pair of black sunglasses. He told Jared they didn't expect him to join them, to do what they did because he had children, but for that night, they were making him a Saint.

The three men pulled up to the warehouse Paul had directed them too and slipped on their glasses and jackets. They grabbed the guns they had brought since being in Ohio and started inside. They were meant by Paul who led them to room he had Antonio waiting in. Antonio was tied to a chair, his hands behind his back, and a cloth bag over his head. Connor moved behind him and ripped the bag off his head. Jared took his glasses off as Antonio looked at him.

" Remember me?" Jared asked. Antonio smiled.

" Oh could I forget? You're Jillian's brother. I see you brought your whore sister's boyfriends with you." He said. Connor grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head back.

" I'd watch your mouth when you are talking about our Jillian." He hissed. Then he let Antonio's head go. Jared came forward and punched him in the face. Antonio's head whipped to the side.

" You can't treat me like this!" He yelled as some blood started out of his mouth. " I have rights!"

" No, your rights went out the window the minute you tried to kill my Jillian the first time." Murphy said calmly.

" I willl sue you guys so bad you will have nothing when I'm done with you." Antonio said a second before he spit blood out of his mouth. Paul smiled and came forward.

" No one is going to find you when we are done with you. You have ways of making people disappear and so does the FBI." He said.

" Now, I'm gonna cut you loose then you are going to kneel down and my brother is going to kill you for taking his girlfriend and scaring our little nieces." Connor said softly.

He cut the ropes holding Antonio and grabbed him by the shoulders. He hauled him out of the chair and pushed him forward. The room was small and there was only one way in so Antonio knew there was nothing he could do. Connor stepped away as Murphy came behind him. Jared held his gun up and pointed it low on Antonio. He shot out his right knee. Antonio screamed and fell to the floor, holding onto what was left of his leg.

" That's for Layla." Jared said. Murphy yanked him up as Jared aimed his gun again. He shot out Antonio's left knee. " That's for Lillian." Jared's voice rose with his second statement.

Connor and Murphy switched places with Jared. They yanked him up and tied him to the chair again with him screaming. Murphy slammed his gun into the left side of Antonio's head. Jared moved to stand in between the brothers then. The three men raised their guns up and pointed them at Antonio's head. He was screaming and begging them to let him go. He was screaming how sorry he was.

" He does not deserve the prayer." Murphy said.

" On three." Jared said. " 1...2...3." All three men fired their guns at the same time. Jared's bullet hit him in the forehead where Connor took out his right eye and Murphy took out his left eye. When it was done, they lowered their guns and stared at him. Paul sighed and came forward.

" My clean up crew will be in an hour. They will take care of the blood and the body. No one will find him. You boys go back to the hotel, clean up and get something to eat." Paul said.

None of them spoke on the way back to the hotel. Connor was driving with Murphy beside him and Jared in the backseat. Jared was looking out the window. He was tired and didn't want to eat. He was going to his room and taking a shower then going to sleep. He had checked on the girls and Eunice said they were doing fine. He texted her and told her they had handled Antonio. She had asked if Jared felt better but he wasn't sure. Jared had never killed anyone in his life.


	4. Chapter 4

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

Everyday the doctors turned the vent down more and more. Jillian was starting to take over her own breathing but she still wasn't responding to them. The doctors told them it was good that she was partly breathing on her own. Another week went by before there was any change in her. The boys came to see her everyday.

Murphy was staring at his pant leg as he held her hand. He sighed as he prayed silently that she would wake up. He knew the longer she was in the coma, the least likely it would be that she would wake up and the less likely she would be the same. He didn't know what to do or how to help her and Jared. He wanted her to wake up for himself but he wanted her to wake up for Jared and his girls too. He closed his eyes and sighed a second time. Suddenly her fingers flicked against his. Murphy opened his eyes and looked at her hand, then her face.

" She moved." Murphy said quickly. Jared's head snapped up. Connor and Paul came to the bed. " She fucking moved her fingers, I felt them." Jared looked at her as she started to frown and shake her head.

" Jillian?" Jared said gently. Alarms started going off as her eyes flew open. Her hands came to her mouth and to the tube.

The doctors and nurses ran into the room, pushing all the men away from her. They turned off the alarms and started talking to her as they quickly unhooked the vent. The nurses pushed the men out of her room and slid the curtain over so they couldn't see what was going on. Jared put his hands on top of his head. Murphy shifted his weight from one leg to another as he rubbed his chin with his finger. The sounds coming from her room were the doctors giving orders to the nurses. Then they heard Jillian start to cough and cry. Jared's hands dropped to his knees as he bent over and closed his eyes. Connor started rubbing his back.

" I didn't think she'd wake up. I really didn't." Jared said. " I didn't want to say it out loud."

After a while the curtain was pulled back and the boys were allowed inside her room again. Jillian's eyes were closed but the tube was out of her mouth and she was breathing on her own. She still had the heart monitor on. Paul, Connor, and Murphy hang back to let Jared come to her first. Murphy wanted to be at her side but didn't move. Jared sat down slowly and took a hold of her hand.

" Jilly?" Jared asked softly. She turned her head towards him and opened her eyes slowly. Her face fell as she started to cry.

" Jared. You found me." Her voice was hoarse. He stood up and took his sister in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him as he buried her head into his chest. He closed his eyes as he felt his own tears start.

" I never stopped looking." He said into her hair. Jillian cried as she clutched her brother. " The boys are here, we never stopped looking for you. You're okay now." He said. Jillian pulled away and whipped her eyes. She looked over his shoulder to Connor and Murphy. Connor smiled at her while Murphy struggle to control himself. Jared took her face in his hands, making her look at him. "What happen? Tell me you didn't poison yourself to get away from him." She shook her head as he wiped her tears from her cheeks.

" I didn't. What are you talking about?" She asked.

" You were poisoned. That's why you are here." Jared said. She shook her head.

" I can't stay here. Antonio has a lot of friends, knows a lot of people. They will come for me." Paul came forward then.

" There are guards outside your room, no one but us are allowed in here. I'm Paul Smecker, by the way." He said. Jillian looked at him quickly. A confused look came over her face.

" He's with us, Love." Connor said as he and Murphy started forward. " And you don't have to worry about Antonio anymore."

" Maybe we could get her transferred back to Boston." Murphy said softly, not taking his eyes from her face. Paul nodded.

" Maybe so. Let me make a few calls." Paul said before he stepped out of the room.

" I'll go with him, I'll call Eunice and tell her Jillian's awake." Connor said. He came forward and kissed the top of Jillian's head. He walked away and patted Murphy's arm before he left. Jillian laid back in the bed and sighed. Murphy slowly sat down beside her bed. Jillian closed her eyes and reached for him. Murphy smile was small as he took her hand. He sighed as he squeezed her.

" You need something, Lass?" Murphy asked. She shook her head.

" My throat hurts so bad." She said.

" That's from the vent you were on the doctor said." Jared said.

She didn't do much talking the rest of the day. The doctors came in and out of her room, checking her over, doing blood work and scans. The boys were asked to leave when the nurses came in to do therapy on her. Her legs had gotten weak and now that she was awake, they wanted to work her out, make her legs stronger.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It only took a few days for Jillian to be transferred back to Boston. Paul, Connor, and Murphy flew back while Jared rode with her in the ambulance. Murphy had wanted to stay with her but didn't ask. She wasn't much to anyone but Jared. She was quiet and withdrawn. Paul had assured them that was common in a lot of kidnapping cases.

She had to spend another week at the hospital in Boston before she was released to come home. They were giving her therapy every time a couple times of day so by the time she left, she could walk on her own. All the doctors were surprised at her turn around considering the dose of poison she had been given but Jillian was determined to make it home.

Eunice, Paul, Connor, Murphy, Doc and the girls were all waiting for her to get home when Jared and Jillian pulled up. She was nervous to be home, nervous to see the girls and start her life over again. She never asked the boys what had happen to Antonio, she had a good idea he wasn't going to be a problem for her anymore.

" Who is that woman?" Jillian asked as they drove up the driveway. Jared smiled slightly.

" I think I have a girlfriend. She works with the FBI, she was amazing in looking for you and she stayed with the girls while I was gone. I think you're going to like her." He said as he shut off the car. The girls rushed to Jillian's side. Connor and Murphy were both standing with their arms crossed over their chest.

" Aunt Jilly's home!" Layla yelled as Lillian opened the door. Both girls reached and grabbed her. Jared laughed while everyone else smiled.

" Girls, you have to let Aunt Jilly breath." Jared said. Jillian wrapped her arms around her nieces as she gathered them up to her.

" I love you." She said to both the girls before she started kissing them.

" I love you!" They both cried.


	5. Chapter 5

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

When the girls finally pulled away, they each took Jillian's hands and pulled her out of the car. Everyone was smiling which made Jillian feel more uncomfortable. The girls tugged on her, pulling her towards the house with little grins on their faces. Eunice came forward to introduce herself as Jared got out of the car.

" Hello," Eunice said as she held out her hand. Jillian shook it lightly then dropped her arm right away. " I'm Eunice Bloom. I have been working on your case for a year now so it's nice to finally meet you." She had a pretty smile. Jillian smiled slightly. Jared came and took Eunice's hand.

" Come on, Jilly, let's get you inside." He said.

Jared and Eunice went in followed by Layla, Jillian, and Lillian, then Doc, Murphy, Connor and finally Paul. The girls led Jillian to the couch while they talked at once with excitement. They both sat on either side of her. Jared and Eunice sat on the love seat by the couch with the others pulled up chairs from the dining room table. Jillian was looking back and forth from one girl to another as they talked. Finally she looked at up Jared, pleading for help silently. He smiled.

" Girls, Aunt Jilly just got out of the hospital. You need to give her some space to breath." He said.

" Actually, I know you all came to see me and I am so grateful for all everything, but I'm kind of tired. I think I just might go to my room for a while, if that's okay." She said. Murphy frowned. She hadn't said one word to him or knowledge he was there.

" Yeah of course, Sissy. We left your room the way it was. I will make dinner at 6 so take all the time you need." Jared said.

" Thank you, again." Jillian said as she stood up. " For everything everyone has done for me." She said before she quickly walked across the room and jogged up the stairs.

" Daddy, what's wrong with Aunt Jilly?" Lillian asked. Connor stood up.

" Why don't I take you girls for a bike ride?" Connor said. The girls got excited and followed him outside.

" She's acting so weird." Jared said. " I'm getting worried."

" She will be fine. We don't know what happen to her while she was gone and she might just need time to adjust to things." Eunice said. " I have the number of someone that can help her deal with all that happen to her." Jared smiled as he looked at her.

" You have the number for everything, don't you?" He asked. She smiled as they all started talking. No one noticed Murphy slip away.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Murphy crept up the stairs quietly. He walked down the hall to where he knew her room

had been. Her door was slightly open. He listened in and heard her crying softly. He leaned against the wall and sighed. He wanted to make her feel better but she didn't seem to want to be around him. He listen to what Eunice had said but it didn't change the fact that he wanted to help her, wanted her to talk to him.

Jillian was sitting in the window seat of her room, looking outside as silent tears slipped down her cheeks. She felt so overwhelmed she didn't know how to react to anything. She hated that they all looked at her like she should say anything. She didn't know what to say, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk at all about anything.

" Jillian." Murphy's voice made her jump and look towards the door. He had pushed it open slightly and was standing in the doorway. " Are you alright, Lass?" She wiped her eyes and looked away from him.

" I don't know." She said. He put his hands in his pockets as he started forward. She had pulled her knees up to her chest. He slowly sat down across from her, never taking his eyes from her face.

He couldn't believe the change in her. Her eyes used to sparkle and now they were dull. Her skin was pale, paler then normal and it still looked like she had bruises under her eyes. She looked tired and scared. He wanted to hug her, to tell her she was okay but he didn't move. He wanted to kiss her but thought better then to try. For a year he had thought about her, remembered their times together and now she was directly in front of him and it felt like she was still gone. Maybe Eunice was right, maybe she just needed time.

" Can I do something for you?" He asked. She leaned her head against the window.

" No. You guys did enough." She sighed as she looked at him. " Thank you for helping my brother and looking for me." He nodded.

" Your welcome." He said softly as she looked away again.

" Seems like I have been gone 10 years instead of 1. The girls look so different, Jared's got a girlfriend, the house even looks different." She said.

" I think Eunice brought a few things from her place here, she said the house needed a woman's touch." Murphy said.

" Is some of my stuff still at your house?" She asked.

" Aye, I can bring it by tomorrow if you'd like. It's just your clothes and a few pictures." Murphy said.

" Yeah, okay." Jillian said. " Thanks. I don't think I can leave anytime soon." She said. She dropped her knees and sat indian style. " I feel so strange." Jillian leaned back and folding her hands together, resting them on her lap. She looked at him then. " It was like I was watching someone who looked like me go through this past year."

" I will listen whenever you are ready to talk." Murphy said. He dropped his eyes to her hands. She shook her head.

" I don't know if I can ever talk about it." She said a second before she started to cry. She leaned forward and covered her face with her hands.

Murphy reached out and took a hold of her arms. He pulled her towards him. She let him pull her onto his lap. She sat on his lap, their chest together, her legs on either side of his legs. His arms went around her waist as she rested her forehead against his collar bone, still keeping her face covered with her hands. She sobbed quietly while he held her to him.

After a while she moved to put her arms around him. She put her left one around his neck and her right one under his arm and she took hands full of his shirt. Her chin came to rest on his shoulder as he slipped one hand into her hair. He started rubbing the back of her head as he held her tightly to him. He kept his eyes closed and turned his head so he could rub his face into her neck. He took a deep breath to take in her scent. She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. She was avoiding his eyes.

" I'm sorry." She said as she got off his lap. Her face was flushed.

" For what?" He asked.

" I'm tired, I think I need to lay down." She said. Murphy sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

" Yeah, alright." He said as he stood up. She moved over to her bed and glanced back at him.

" Can you lay with me?" She asked softly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Murphy laid above her covers while she was under them. She had her eyes closed while he was running his hand through her hair. He was staring at her face. He wanted to know what she had been through, what she had seen but he didn't want to ask. He wanted her to talk to him when she was ready, he didn't want to push her. He moved closer to her and brushed his lips against her forehead. He felt her tense up so he pulled away from her. He stayed with her until she fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

_She had finally been able to get out of the house without anyone noticing. She was running through the woods as fast as she could. She had to get as far away as she could. It was in the middle of the night and she couldn't see anything. The trees in the woods were shielding the moonlight. She thought she heard a road and started to pick up her pace. If she could flag someone down, she would be saved. _

_She had almost reached the road when a sharp pain struck her on the neck. Suddenly she felt like she was moving through jello. She brought her hand to her neck and pulled a little dart out at the same time she fell to the ground. She turned onto her back as Antonio and his right hand man, Joe, appeared over her. They were smiling as they reached down and grabbed her by the shoulders. She couldn't move. She thought she was screaming but she couldn't hear anything._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

" Jillian! Wake up, Lass!" She heard someone calling to her and shaking her shoulders but she couldn't stop herself from screaming. She would not go back, this time she would fight until she was dead.

" Wake up, Love!" She heard someone yelling. Her eyes flew open as she brought her arms up to fight off whoever was holding her down. She struggled to the top of the bed. She was crying and panting hard. It took a few seconds before her eyes adjusted to the screen in front of her.

Murphy was sitting on the left side of her bed while Connor was on the right. Jared was in the middle of the room with Eunice. She was holding Layla while Lillian was gripping Jared's leg. Both girls were crying. She looked from each of their faces, not understanding what was going on. She wanted to know who was screaming but the look on their faces told her it had been her.

" You alright now, Love?" Connor asked gently. They were all looking at her like she was a wild animal. They were all tense.

" What happen?" She almost whispered.

" You were screaming, Aunt Jilly." Lillian cried.

" Why where you screaming?" Layla asked through her tears. " You almost hit Murphy."

" Come on, girls. Let's go downstairs and finish dinner." Eunice said as she took Lillian's hand. "Your Aunt Jilly just had a bad dream. Let's leave her to the boys." Eunice led the girls out of Jillian's room, closing the door behind them.

" We heard you screaming and came to check on you." Jared said. Jillian sunk into the bed and took a hold of the blanket.

" I had a nightmare." She said as she looked away from them.

" Who were you fighting?" Murphy asked calmly. Jillian shook her head.

" It was just nightmare." She said.

" Love, you damn near punch Murph in the mouth." Connor said.

" I don't want to talk about it." She said.

" Was it a nightmare or a memory of something?" Jared asked as he came forward. He rested his hands on the bed frame.

" I don't want to talk about it! Just fucking drop it!" She snapped as she glared at her brother. Jared frown slightly but shook his head.

" We will just leave you alone." Jared said.

Murphy didn't want to leave her. When he heard her screaming, his stomach dropped to the floor. He was up in a flash and got to her first. He wouldn't have left her room had not Connor hit his arm and glared at him. As they got off her bed, Jillian curled up on her right side and yanked the blankets over her. They followed Jared out of the room and he closed the door behind him.

" I'm not sure what to do here. Did you see my girls' faces? They were terrified. What am I going to do if she has one of those nightmares in the middle of the night?" He said.

" Can you put the girls in bed with you?" Connor suggested. Jared looked away and almost flushed.

" Yeah, I, ah, I guess I could it's just, Eunice was going to spend the night. We were going to celebrate Jillian being home...in private." He said. Connor nodded as he grinned. He patted Jared's back.

" Good for you!" He said. " She's so hot." Murphy started rubbing his chin with his finger.

" She could come home with us." He spoke up. Both men looked at him.

" She could." Connor said.

" But I don't want her to think I'm kicking her out when she just got home." Jared said.

" Just go in and explain that you are worried about the girls." Connor said. Jared thrust a hand into his hair as he leaned against her door.

" I wish that motherfucker was still here so I could beat his ass!" He hissed.

Jillian cried into her pillow until she heard the door open again. She tried to be as still as possible so whoever it was would think she was sleeping. She heard the door shut then the sounds of someone moving through her room. It didn't take long before the weight of her bed changed as someone laid beside her. She felt the blankets being pulled down from her face.

" It's just me, Jilly." Jared said as he turned onto his left side, facing her.

" I'm sorry I scared the girls." She said.

" It's okay. They are just glad to have you home." He said.

" Maybe I should stay with this Connor and Murphy...just until I get myself in order. I mean, I don't want to scared them again." She said softly.

" You heard us, didn't you?" Jared asked.

" It's okay, I understand." She said. The twins stared at each other for a while before Jared smiled again.

" We haven't laid in bed together and talked since we were teens." He said. She smiled.

" Mom used to yell at you for sneaking into my room at night." Jillian said.

" It was her own fault. She kept us in the same room until we were 11. I never wanted my own room." Jared said. Jillian turned onto her back and wiped her eyes. Jared sighed as he watched his sister. " Murphy really cares about you. He was worried sick. He was a mess." She rested her hands on her stomach.

" A lot's happen since I met him, I'm not sure he'd still care if he knew everything." She said. She sighed then sat up. " I better get packing."


	7. Chapter 7

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

Jillian walked down the stairs with Jared behind her. She had packed only two bags because she knew she was going to be just next door. The girls were distracted by Eunice so Jillian didn't say anything to them, she didn't want to upset them anymore. She sighed as she looked at them. Eunice looked up at her and smiled slightly but Jillian didn't pay any attention to her. She was busying watching her nieces as they colored and chatted together. Connor and Murphy were outside smoking so she walked outside after a few seconds.

" You ready to go, Love?" Connor asked her. Jillian crossed her arms over her chest as she nodded. Both the brothers put out their smokes at the same time. Connor looped his arm around her and grinned at her. He tugged her towards their house. " Got your room ready still." Murphy put his hands in his pockets as he walked behind them.

Murphy took the led once they were in the house. Connor had went into the kitchen to grab a beer for himself. Jillian slowly followed him up the stairs and down the hallway to where her room had been. He opened the door to her room and stepped inside. Jillian walked in as he faced her. She looked uncomfortable as she looked around.

" You changed rooms." She said. She noticed some of his things were in the room. There was a basket in a corner of the room and it was filled with his clothes. The basket was something she had made them start to do when she came to stay with them. Murphy put his hands back into his pocket as he nodded.

" After you were taken, I move my stuff in here. I wanted to be around your stuff." He admitted softly.

" I can't take your room." She said, completely shocking him. He had been thinking they would share a room, he been hoping, but her statement made it clear to him that was not going to happen.

" Ah, it's okay. I can go back to the other room." He said. She dropped her bags and walked over to the bed. She sat down and sighed.

" What time is it?" She asked.

" Seven." Murphy answered. She was staring at the floor. " Why don't you go and take a bath to relax? I can make you something to eat." He said. She shook her head.

" I think I just want to go back to sleep." Jillian said. She finally looked up at him. " I'm sorry for kicking you out of your room."

" It's okay. Whatever you need to feel comfortable. So I guess I will leave you alone." He said as he took a hold of the door knob.

" Thank you, Murphy. For everything." She said. Murphy nodded before he walked out, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it with his eyes shut. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed with her, wanted her against him. They didn't need to have sex, he just wanted to be with her. He wanted to comfort her and make her feel safe again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Jillian woke up to find her hands tied at her wrists. Her hands were above her head and she was in a bed. Her head was pounding and she suddenly remembered Antonio hitting her in the head, knocking it into the car's window. The room was dark and she could feel someone breathing beside her. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she looked to her left side and found Antonio sleeping beside her. There was a gag in her mouth and it was cutting into the sides of her lips. She closed her eyes and started to cry silently._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Murphy had went outside to have a smoke, later that night, and when he came back into the house and up the stairs, he listened in by her door to make sure she was okay. When he heard her crying, he opened her door and said her name. When she didn't respond to him, he walked in farther and saw that she was crying in her sleep.

He crouched down beside her bed and ran his hand through her hair. He said her name softly and tried to sooth her. After a few minutes she quieted down until she was no longer crying at all. Murphy sighed and rested his head on her bed. He wanted to climb in bed with her but he didn't move. He continued to run his hand through her while he thought about what to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jillian woke up and turned onto her back. She had been plagued by nightmares all night. They weren't just nightmares, they were memories. She stared at the ceiling for a few minutes then shook her head and turned onto her left side. She looked at the floor and jumped. Slowly she sat up, holding the blankets to her. Murphy was laying on the floor beside her bed. He had a pillow and a blanket. He was laying on his stomach, head turned towards her. His breathing was slow and steady. She almost whined at the site of him. She had spend her year away, wishing he'd find her, wishing he'd rush into the house she was being held at and wisp her away but it never happen. Now he was laying on the floor in front of her and she didn't know what to say or do with him.

Antonio had made her do horrible, unmentionable things, things she would never tell anyone she had done. She was dirty and didn't deserve to be with someone like him. She didn't deserve to be around Jared and her nieces but she had no where else to go. Jillian promised herself she would never tell anyone of them what happen to her, didn't matter how many times they asked, she wasn't going to tell. She didn't think she could handle to look of pity or disgust they'd looked at her with. She didn't want their pity. She didn't need it. And as far as their disgust, if she saw that on their faces she was sure she'd die.

Jillian ran her hand through her hair and laid back down. She turned away from him and continued to think to herself. She wasn't sure how long she had been laying there when she heard Murphy start to move. He groaned, something she knew he did when he was starting to wake up. She snapped her eyes shut. She might not deserve him but knowing he was sleeping close to her made her feel better. She didn't want him to know she knew he was there. He stretched and groaned again before he stood up. She felt the mattress shift a second before his smokey, spicy scent came over her. He brushed his finger tips against her cheek to move her hair out of the way. She felt him over her for a few seconds before he kissed her temple. He rubbed his forehead lightly against her hair then pulled away from her. She stayed still while she heard him gather up his things and cross the room. She didn't move until she heard her door open then shut.


	8. Chapter 8

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

Murphy was sitting on the back porch steps, having his morning smoke after he had gotten ready for the day. His hair was still wet from his shower as he lite up the cigarette. The front door opened and shut a second before Connor sat down beside him. Connor light up his smoke and they inhaled at the same time then exhaled at the same time before Connor looked at him.

" You gonna sleep on her floor from now on?" He asked. Murphy took a deep breath before he spoke.

" She had nightmares all night." He said. Connor nodded and looked out to their back yard.

" Aye. I heard her. I went to check on her and saw you on the floor." Connor said.

" She cries. I don't know how to help her." Murphy admitted.

" Jared planned a trip to the zoo with the girls today. He wants to take Jillian. He thinks giving her a day with the girls, doing something fun might make her feel better. Eunice is going, maybe we should think about going too." Connor said. Murphy nodded.

" Aye, I think she'd like that. She told me once she loved the zoo. She loves the bears."

XXXXXXX

Jillian walked into the bathroom and locked the door. She turned around and couldn't help but smile. The boys were as dirty as she remembered and it was nice that some things didn't change. There was a wet towel on the floor and hair clippings from one of them in the sink. She pushed away from the door and placed her towels on the hooks by the shower before she started it up. Once she got out of the shower, she laughed out loud before she could stop herself. The mirror was steamed up and the words, ' Fuck you.' had clearing been writing on the mirror at one time.

Jillian joined the boys in the kitchen when she was dressed and ready for the day. Connor and Murphy were leaning against the counter, across from each other. Connor smiled and move towards her. He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. Murphy noticed her tense up but didn't think Connor had noticed. Connor pulled away and explained to her the plan for the day.

" So you want to go?" Connor asked. He and Murphy were standing across of her in the kitchen. She had her arms crossed over her chest.

" I guess." Jillian said.

" Might be fun, Love." Connor said.

" I guess." She said as she pushed away from the counter. They watched as she walked to the back door and outside. Murphy sighed and leaned his head back.

" She's okay, Murph." Connor said.

" She's not okay, Conner, she's not and we can't pretend like she is." Murphy said as he looked at her.

" I'm just saying we have to give her time, we need to try and make this easy for her. It's not going to work with you frowning all the time." Connor snapped as he walked outside. Murphy put his hand into his hair and sighed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jared, Eunice, and the girls rode in Jared's car while Connor, Murphy and Jillian went in Connor's car. Connor was driving while Jillian was sitting beside him. Murphy was in the backseat behind Connor, trying to not to watch her. She was tense and looking outside. She hadn't said a word to anyone but the girls. She had went into Jared's house and hugged the girls, telling them good morning and that was all.

Once at the zoo, they parked the cars and Jillian was surprised to see Jared and Eunice holding hands. Both the girls went right to Jillian and took her hands. She squeezed them as they started walking up to the entrance. Jared was a member of the zoo so they all got in for free. The girls were talking excitedly but Jillian wasn't saying anything, she was just listening.

Murphy watched her as they walked around, looking at the animals. Jillian looked at everything but he didn't think she was really seeing what was in front of her. The girls were running between all the grown ups. They were talking and pulling on everyone. Connor was just like one of the kids. He would ran after them and be just as excited as they were. Murphy noticed that Jillian smiled a few times at Connor. He felt himself getting mad at his brother. It should be him she was smiling at.

They went inside one of the buildings at the zoo. It was called The Bat Cave and was almost pitch black inside. There were little LCD lights on the floor to guide their way. The girls were gripping Jared and Eunice and were way ahead of of Murphy and Jillian. Connor was behind the girls, scaring them as they looked at the bats. Murphy hung back with Jillian who seemed very on edge and nervous the second they came into the building.

" You okay?" Murphy asked softly as he came up to her side. She was looking around quickly. He slowly put his hand against her lower back.

" It's too dark in here." She said. " I don't feel like I can move. I want out of here." He could hear the fear in her voice. He turned her gently to face him.

" Nothing is going to get you in here, I promise." He said. He had his hands on her hips. He could just make out her face. Her eyes were dating around quickly. " You are completely safe." He dropped his voice. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands as she finally looked at him.

" I can't let the girls see me freaking out." She said. " I upset them enough last night."

" Look, we will stay here for a few minutes, try and calm down. I will just go and tell Connor we are staying here for a bit so they don't get worried." Murphy said. Jillian's hands shot up and grabbed him quickly.

" Don't leave me in here!" She panicked. She was gripping his arms hard, her nailing biting him through his long sleeve, black shirt. He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly.

" Okay, Lass, I'm not gonna anyway." He said as he started playing with her hair. " I will text him." He dug his phone out of his pocket, hating that he could feel how bad she was shaking. He sent Connor a message quickly then put his phone away. He held onto her tightly then.

He knew she was crying even though she wasn't making any sounds. They were completely alone inside the building and he was glad. He didn't try and talk to her, he just held her to him and ran his hand through the back of her hair. She had her arms tightly around his neck and had her eyes shut. After awhile her shaking slowed down until he was sure she wasn't crying anymore. He squeezed his arm that was around her waist.

" Are you okay now?" He asked into her hair. She pulled away slightly and wiped her cheeks again. She bit her lip slightly and nodded. Murphy's hand moved from her hair to her neck. He brought her to him again and kissed her without thinking.

Her whole body tensed at first. He slipped his tongue gently across her bottom lip and she parted her lips slowly. His tongue went in to her mouth at the same time she loosened up against him. She seemed to melt into him and he pushed her against the wall behind her as they made out. His hands went to her waist. She moved her hands to his neck and face as they twisted their tongues around each other slowly. He pressed himself against her hard. He needed to feel her as much as he could. His right hand moved to the middle of her back. Before he realized it, her hands went to his chest and she pushed him away hard.

" Don't! You can not kiss me!" She said.

" Jilly," He started as he reached for her.

" No, Murphy, don't! You don't want me." She said quickly. He took a hold of her arms and pulled her to him.

" I do. I want to be with you, I don't consider us not together anymore. We never broke up, you were taken from me. But you're back and we can start over again." He said as she came into his chest.

" You don't get it!" She snapped as she pushed him away from her again. " We are not together anymore! I am not that girl you used to know! I'm completely different, okay!" Her fear of the dark left her and was replaced by anger.

" You are that girl, she's in there, I can see it." He said as he came to her again.

" Shut up!" She snapped again as she pushed him away from her hard. " Just shut up! You have no idea what you are talking about! You don't even know me so fuck off!" He dropped his arms as she stormed away from him.

She followed the little lights until she found the exit. Murphy thrust his hand into his hair and sighed as he followed after her. They didn't talk to each other the rest of the visit. She refused to look at him and he couldn't understand what he did that pissed her off so bad. She kept her arms tight against her chest. She only smiled when one of the girls looked at her or spoke to her.


	9. Chapter 9

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites!*_

Once they got back to the house Jillian went straight into Jared's house and to her room. She hurried up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door. Everyone glanced around at each other. Murphy hadn't said anything to anyone about what had happen between them. He leaned against the car as the girls started asking Jared if their aunt was okay. Jared asked Eunice to take the girls to the backyard to play while he went to check on her. Murphy ran his hands through his hair as Connor looked at him over the hood of the car.

" What happen in that building?" He asked.

" I kissed her and she yelled at me." Murphy said.

XXXXXXXXX

Jared walked up the stairs and to Jillian's room. He knocked on the door then pushed it open. He found Jillian packing her bags quickly. She was sobbing. Jared walked into her room and shut her door. He watched her as he walked over to her bed. He sat down quietly. She didn't seem to notice he was even there.

" What are you doing?" Jared asked.

" I'm leaving. Doc told me he had an apartment above the bar. I'm going to see if he will let me live there. I have money from working last year." Jillian said quickly. " I can't stay here." She said as she wiped eyes.

" Why not?" He asked.

" Because I can't stand the way you all stare at me. You think I don't see you looking at me like you expect me to crack open? I can't do this, I won't. You don't need me, the girls don't need me, Connor acts like everything is awesome and Murphy wants to make out. I can't stand this." She said.

" What the hell are you talking about? Of course we need you, the girls adore you. Why would you think they don't need you?" Jared asked.

" I want the keys to my car." She said.

" Murphy has them." Jared said. Jillian turned around and threw her hands into the air.

" Oh fucking perfect! Just fucking perfect!" She yelled. She moved to walk past him but Jared jumped up and grabbed her arm.

" Stop. Just relax. Let's talk." He said. Jillian whipped away from him.

" I don't want to talk!" She yelled. He put his hands on the top of his head as she threw open her door and rushed out with her bags.

Jillian rushed down the stairs, knowing her brother was following her. She didn't care, she had to get away from them. She just needed some time to herself. She almost ran outside and over to Connor and Murphy who were leaning against the car with their arms on the roof. Both boys looked at her quickly.

" I want my keys." She said as she came up to Murphy.

" Where you going, Love?" Connor asked as he pushed away from the car.

" Don't call me that!" She snapped at him. Jared came out of the house behind her.

" Okay, where are you going, Jillian?" Connor asked.

" I need to get out of here. I can't breath here. You have my keys and I want them." Jillian said.

" Jillian, come on, we can work on this. You don't have to move out." Jared said. She whirled around to face him. Connor and Murphy looked at each other then silently started towards her.

" Work on what? There is nothing to work on! You have no idea what I went through, none! But you all act like you know me so fucking well and guess what! You don't know shit about me! I have changed, I'm not that Jillian anymore and I never will be again!" She yelled at Jared. He saw Connor and Murphy and knew what they were going to do.

" You're right, we don't know but you don't know what we went through either. We were sick everyday, all of us, thinking about you. I can't let you leave again. Do you have any idea what it will do to the girls if you leave? It will kill them." Jared said.

" The girls don't need me, they have Eunice." She almost spit out her name. " Eunice is so wonderful that everyone loves her! None of you need me anymore, you have her! And you know what, I don't need any of you!" She snapped. " So you guys can have her! You can all fuck her for all I care! I know you are so why not Connor and Murphy too!"

" Jillian stop it! Don't say shit like that! We were worried sick about you. Murphy won't have dreamed of touching another girl while you were gone!" Jared said.

A second later, Murphy wrapped his arms around her chest while Connor ducked and grabbed her by her legs. They picked her up while she started screaming and fighting. They started towards their house with Jared following behind them. She was cursing and fighting the best she could. Murphy didn't say a thing while Connor was tell her to quiet down, that she was going to be fine. Jared ran ahead and opened their door so they could carry her inside. They carried her up the stairs and to her room where they dropped her on her bed. She jumped up on top of the bed and started screaming at them.

" Shut the fuck up!" Connor yelled, startling both Jared and Murphy. " For fuck sakes, woman, shut the fuck up! You are acting like a selfish little brat! Do you have any idea what we went through to find you! Do you have any idea what you being gone did to your brother and mine! Do you even care!" He took a step towards her, their eyes locked together as she dropped to the bed. " You sit there and shut the fuck up while I go have a smoke and a beer! You are not going anywhere! When I get back we are working this out but until then, shut up!" He spun on his heel and stormed out of the room.

" Jillian," Murphy started as tears started down her cheeks.

" Don't you even talk to her right now!" Connor yelled from the stairs. " Get out of the room!" Murphy turned right away and left her room quickly. Jared followed him, closing the door behind him.

They followed Connor outside after he grabbed a beer. His hands were shaking as he light up his smoke then opened his beer. Murphy and Jared were staring at him, waiting for him to talk. They were completely shocked by his outburst and he seemed as shocked himself. He alternated from taking a drink to taking a drag from the smoke. He didn't say a word to either of them.


	10. Chapter 10

_* Let me know what you think about what Connor did and said to Jillian Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites! *_

Neither Murphy or Jared asked Connor what he was planning. They didn't think Connor wouldn't tell them. He looked pissed and sad at the same time. When he finished his smoke and the beer, he jumped up and went into the house without a word. They glanced at each other then followed him inside. Connor was looking through the cabinets. He found a bottle of Jack and another pack of smokes then left the room.

Murphy and Jared followed behind him again. Connor took the stairs two at a time so they had to quicken their pace. He walked over to her room. He opened her door and walked in then faced Murphy and Jared. He gave them a quick nodded before he shut the door. They heard the lock turn and knew he wasn't coming out for a while.

Jillian was sitting in the center of bed when Connor faced her. He tossed the smokes to her then walked over to her. He sat down and put his back against the backboard. He patted the spot on the bed beside him. Jillian sighed and moved up to him. He opened the bottle of Jack and took a drink before he handed it to her. She sighed but took a long drink. He handed her a smoke then took one for himself. He light both their smokes then took a drag.

" Now, I'm going to ask you questions and you are going to answer them. We are going to sort this out. So let's start from the beginning." Connor said. " Where did he take you?" He took the bottle back from her and took another short drink.

" I don't know. We drove for hours then he made me hit my head against the window of the car and when I woke up I was tied to a bed." Jillian said before she took a hit from the smoke.

" Did he rape you?" He asked as he handed her the bottle. Jillian shook her head as she took a drink.

" He didn't even try and kiss me." She answered.

" What happen to you then? What changed you?"

They passed the bottle back and forth while they smoked and talked. Jillian told him about how she tried to escape. She told him about Antonio smacking her around while she was tied to the bed. She told him that he had asked her if she was dating either Connor or Murphy and when she denied it, Antonio brought a man in. He had the man tied to a chair and he hooked up to a battery of some sort. Every time he felt Jillian was lying to him, he would shock the man. It hadn't matter when she started telling him the truth, he continued to shock the man until he killed him. Then he made Jillian dig a grave and bury the dead man.

She told him how Antonio made her kill a man. He made her shoot the man and Jillian had missed, hitting the man in the shoulder. Antonio had punched her and made her do it again. She missed again and hit the man in the stomach. She had ended up hitting him three times before she nailed him in the head. The man had been crying and begging her to stop. Jillian cried but Antonio hit her and told her to shut up.

Jillian drank, smoked, and cried as she retold how her life had been the past year. Connor put his arm around her and held her close as they talked. She told him about Antonio denying her food and water off and on throughout the year. She told him there were nights when he made her sleep outside with a guard watching her and how other times she wasn't allowed to sleep at all for days on end. The whole time they talked, they passed the bottle back and forth. Connor sat with his legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankles, Jillian sat indian style, her head on his shoulder.

" Now let me tell you about our year." Connor began.

He told her about the girls crying and begging for her for months. He told her about the sleepless nights Murphy had, how'd he pace through the house. He told her the work Paul and Eunice had done. They talked about Jared not knowing how to comfort the girls when he had his own fears to deal with. Jared, Connor, and Murphy would sit up at Jared's house, drinking and not talking most nights.

Murphy would sit at the bar and stare into his beer. He refused to talk about Jillian to anyone except the mob members they killed, he was sure they all knew something. Murphy carried her picture with him everywhere. There were times when he would just stare at it. Connor hadn't ever seen his brother like that. Murphy had been a mess, feeling like he had failed her and his friend.

Connor and Jillian had finished off the bottle and where laying down in the bed, facing each other. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear while she struggled to keep her eyes open. He moved towards her and kissed her forehead. He rested his head against hers and spoke low. He had taken smaller drinks then her so he was buzzing but she was drunk.

" I'm going to bed now." He said as he started rubbing her back. " I'm sure my brother is sitting right out in that hallway and he's going to come in and check on you. Let him. Ask him to stay with you, cuz he won't ask. He needs to be with you as much as you need to be with him, maybe more. Let him in cuz he needs to touch you." He kissed her temple then slipped from her bed.

He moved through her room silently. He looked back at her before he unlocked the door and found Murphy right were he knew he'd be. Murphy was sitting to the right of the door and was looking up at him. Connor smiled and motioned him to go into the room then he walked across the hallway and went into his room. Murphy stood up and looked into her room.

" Murphy." She said softly. He ran his hand through his hair and came into her room. He closed the door then walked to her bed. " Will you lay with me?" She asked without opening her eyes. He looked back at her door then at her again. He slipped off his shoes then took a hold of the blanket. He slipped into the bed beside her, pulling the covers over them.

" You okay?" He asked softly. She was laying on her right side, facing him with one hand under the covers. Her left hand came out and took a hold of his shirt collar. He slowly put his arm around her waist and moved himself closer to her. He ran his hand through her hair, making her sigh.

" Connor got me pretty drunk." She whispered.

" Yeah, he did." Murphy said. " Go to sleep, you going to feel like shit in the morning."

" Will you take care of me?" She asked. He smiled.

" Yeah, Babe. Go to sleep." He said.

She sighed again and moved so her leg went in between his and her face came to his chest. It was his turn to sigh as he snuggled in closer to her. It didn't take long before he knew she was asleep. He stared at the top of her head since her face was against his chest. He started playing with the ends of her hair, twisting it around slowly in his fingers. He wanted to talk to Connor, he wanted to know what she had said. He hadn't been able to hear much through the door, their words were just too muffled. He decided he'd wait until the morning then talk to Connor about it. He didn't want to leave her, she was cuddling him, holding shirt tight with her fingers resting against his skin and he didn't want to lose that.


	11. Chapter 11

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites! *_

When Jillian woke up in the morning, her head was pounding. She groaned and put her hand on her head as she snuggled into the blankets more. She suddenly remembered that Murphy had been laying with her. She turned around quickly but found she was alone. She reached out and touched his side of the bed. It was warm but she could tell he had left awhile ago. She grabbed the pillow he had used and pulled it to her face. She inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent. She turned back around and saw a tray sitting by her bed. On the tray was a cup of coffee, still steaming and a bottle of Motrin. There was a note sitting by the cup. She picked it up and opened it as she laid back down.

" Drink the coffee, take the pills, shower then come down the stairs.

- Murphy"

She sighed as she let her hand travel over his writing. Something about him being in her room while she was sleeping, watching her, made her feel more relaxed then she had been in a long time. She hadn't wanted to talk about what happen to her but surprisingly, even though her head was pounding, she felt better then she had since before she was kidnapped. She was actually glad someone knew what she had gone through. She was going to thank Connor for what he did for her.

She grabbed the pills and washed them down quickly then stood up slowly. She closed her eyes and was so glad her stomach wasn't hurting. She never got an upset stomach with a hang over, just horrible headaches. She grabbed her towel and walked out of her room to the bathroom. All she needed was a nice, hot shower and some toast.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Connor and Murphy were sitting outside, smoking while Connor told his brother everything Jillian had said. Murphy shook his head as he listened. He was pissed thinking about the things she had been through. He wanted to kill Antonio all over again, his only comfort was that he was burning in hell. He couldn't image going through the things she had been through, the lack of sleep, not being allowed to eat or drink, having to see torture done to others or having to inflict the torture on someone. He just couldn't image it. The door to the house opened, making them both turn around and look up at Jillian.

" Can I talk to Connor for a minute?" Jillian asked. The boys looked at each other then back at her. They nodded at the same time. Murphy stood up and started past her. Jillian reached out and grabbed his arm. " I want to talk to you next." She said. He glanced at Connor then back at her. She smiled at him, making him smile slightly.

" Yeah, I'll be in the living room." He said.

" Okay." Jillian said as she leaned in to him. She squeezed his arm and kissed his cheek. Murphy looked at her then walked away, leaving them alone.

Jillian closed the door and came fully outside. She slipped onto the steps beside Connor who light up another smoke. He handed her one but she quickly shook her head and pushed his hand away, making him laugh. She didn't smoke that much so all the cigarettes she had smoked with him the night before had made her throat hurt. He put his arm around her shoulder and she rested her chest against him. She closed her eyes and took in his warmth.

" Thank you, Connor." She said. " I guess I needed that, I needed someone to force me to talk." She said. He kissed the top of her head, making her look at him. He kissed her forehead then.

" You did and there was no way Jared and Murphy were going to get forceful with you." He said.

" Did you tell Murphy?" She asked. " And don't lie, I know you guys tell each other shit." Connor laughed again as he looked away.

" Yeah, I did. I'm sorry but I didn't think you'd tell him and he needed to know. He wants a relationship with you and I know you still want one with him but for that to happen, he had to know." He said. She nodded.

" Does he think I'm horrible?" She asked softly as rested her head back against him.

" He'd never think that. None of what happen was your fault, you had no choice. Murphy just wants to take care of you, he wants you to lean on him. He wants to be there for you and to help you." Connor said before he took another drag of his smoke.

" I'm kind of glad you told him. I'm not sure I could have done it." Jillian said. They were quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again.

" I'm going go to Jared's for breakfast. Go in, talk to my brother, give him some make up sex, cuz God knows he needs to get laid." Connor said, making Jillian pull away and laugh. He grinned and laughed too. " He does, Jilly, please give him some. You need it too. You will feel even better."

" Alright, alright, that's enough talk about me and Murphy having sex." Jillian said. Connor patted her leg then.

" Go. I'll stay there until you guys come over, alright?"

" You really don't have too, I don't think we are going to be having sex. I don't think we are there anymore." She said.

" You aren't there because you won't let it be there. The only thing holding you two back, is you." Connor said before he got up. With a wink, he put his hands in his pockets and jogged over to her brother's house. Jillian sighed. Maybe he was right, maybe she was the one holding them back. Maybe he did still want to be with her. She pushed herself up and went to the door.

Murphy was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels when he heard the back door open then close. He knew she would be in the room in a matter of seconds and he was nervous. He admitted to himself that he had thought when they found her and brought her home, that they would pick up where they left off, that she'd come back to their house, live with them, and her and Murphy would just be together. Now that she was back, he saw how stupid that thought was. When she said she wanted to talk to him, he was sure she was going to tell him they would be better off as friends and he didn't want to hear that.

" Are you watching something?" Jillian's voice interrupted his thoughts. Murphy grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

" No." He said as she sat down beside him.

" So can we talk then?" She asked. He nodded. Neither one would look at the other. He didn't want to hear what she had to say, he didn't want her to tell him it was over for sure.


	12. Chapter 12

_* Please review! Thanks for all the adds to your story alerts and Favorites! *_

Murphy waited for Jillian to started talking. He had right arm on the couch arm and had his hand covering his eyes. Jillian was on the opposite side of the couch. She took a deep breath and moved across the couch until she was against Murphy's side. He glanced at her then looked away as he dropped his arm. He put his other arm around her and pulled her towards him. Jillian smiled and curled up on the couch.

" So Connor told you about what happen to me." She made it a statement, not a question. Murphy nodded as she rested her head against his chest.

" Aye." He said softly. He looked down at her head then rubbed his chin against it.

" And you're okay with it?" She asked. He continued rubbing his chin on her head.

" What do you mean?" Murphy asked.

" You don't care about what happen to me or what I did." She said.

" I care about what you have been through, more then you think." He said softly. She pulled away and looked at him.

" I didn't mean that you didn't care. I mean, like it doesn't effect how you think about me?" Jillian asked. Murphy shook his head and took her hair in his hands, tucking strands off it behind her ears.

" Why would that change what I think about you?" Murphy asked as he kept tucking and re tucking her hair back.

" Because I did horrible things." She said softly. Murphy shook his head.

" You didn't do horrible things, Antonio did." He said.

" So you don't think I'm awful?" Murphy frowned and shook his head. " How is that? How can you not think that?" Jillian asked. " He made me do horrible, awful things." She dropped her eyes then. Murphy shifted his position so he was facing her completely. He took her chin in his hand and tilted her head so she was looking at him but she dropped her eyes again.

" Look at me." He ordered. She sighed but raised her eyes. " You are letting him control you. This is his fault. You did nothing wrong, nothing. What do I have to do to make you understand that?" She shook her head as a few tears started down from her eyes.

" I don't know." She whispered. He dropped her chin and took both her hands in his. She dropped her eyes again and closed the eyes. " I didn't mean what I said." She said.

" About what?" He asked in confusion.

" About Eunice sleeping with you and Connor." She said as she looked up at him. Her eyes were shining with tears. " I don't even know her, I shouldn't have said it. Part of my problem has been her."

" Why? She worked hard to find you." Murphy said as he rubbed her hands with his fingers.

" Because I felt like she took my place. The girls adore her, she was all friendly with you two, Jared called her his girlfriend. Do you know Lana is the only girl he had ever been with? She was my best friend and I know she died and he deserve happiness again, but I wasn't expecting to come back and find another girl here." Jillian said.

" She does wonders for them. She helped Jared and girls deal with your kidnapping." He said. He reached up and wiped her cheeks with his hand. " She helped Jared get the girls help because they weren't sleeping at night. As far as Eunice and I are concerned, there is no Eunice and I. I haven't see anyone, went out on any dates, didn't even look at another girl since the day I meant you." She shook her head.

" You don't have to explain things to me. It's none of my business." Jillian said.

" Aye, it is. I meant what I said at the zoo. I don't look at this like we broke up, you were taken from me. You need time to adjust to everything, I will give it to you, just know I'm here. You and I are in your hands. You make us what you want. I want to be with you and that's all I care about." Murphy said. Jillian hugged him. He pulled her into his lap so he could hug her tighter. Jillian's legs went to each side of his as her arms went around his neck. He had his arms around her waist. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. " I love the way you smell."

She pulled away enough so their cheeks were together. Jillian slowly rubbed her cheek against his. Murphy had his eyes closed so he could completely enjoy her. She moved herself closer to him, making him start to react. He turned his face and brushed a kiss against her cheek. Jillian turned so their lips were touching. His breath caught in his throat as they looked into each other's eyes.

" Should we go to the bedroom?" She asked softly and slowly. She flicked her tongue out and traced his lips with it. Murphy's eyes fluttered shut. He groaned.

" Are you sure you want too?" He asked, his voice low and sexual. She guided his bottom lip into her mouth and started to suck it. His hands tighten on her. She continued her work as she started rocking her hips against him slowly.

His arms tighten as he stood up. She laughed as she wrapped herself around him. She buried her face into his neck as he almost ran to the stairs. She let her tongue glide up his neck and up the back of his ear as he took the stairs two at a time. He came down the hallway and into her room, kicking her door closed behind him. He brought them to her bed and dropped her on it, making her laugh again. He pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. She held her arms open to him. Murphy came to her without any words.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Afterwards, he laid on top of her, both completely naked while they made out. He was running his hands through her hair as hers travelled up and down his back. He was still inside her, not wanting to be apart from her. He was going to send Connor a message, telling him to send the day at Jared's. He didn't want to let her out bed the rest of the day. He was going to bring her lunch and dinner and in between those times, he was going to remind her over and over again how much he wanted her.

" Shouldn't we get up?" Jillian said as he moved to kiss her neck.

" No." He said in between sucking and licking her neck.

" Connor can't spend the day over there." She said with her eyes shut.

" Aye, he can." Murphy said. Jillian laughed.

" He will come home soon though." She said. He pulled away and looked at her.

" We have a year of time apart to make up for and I plan on doing just that." Murphy said.

" I'm not sure my body can hold up." She said.

" I am never letting you go again." He said seriously. She sighed.

" I hope you don't." Jillian said before she brought him down to kiss her again.

The End


End file.
